i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ugly people sure do ruin things
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
