You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
