I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
