they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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