Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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