you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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