I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
