so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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