An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
