Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
