oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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