I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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