I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
