well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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