Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
