honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
