Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
