guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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