After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
