Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Randomize
