it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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