Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
