i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
