so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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