Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
