Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I smell like Dick and happiness
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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