thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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