So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
