Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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