Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize