hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
