Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
