The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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