Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize