if you like me you must not know who I am
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
