Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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