Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
