going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
