The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
