I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
