My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
