come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
