I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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