508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just saw a hot homeless man
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
