if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
