READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
