I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
