It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
