so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
