It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
