So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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