you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
