does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
