My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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