I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
