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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
