i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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