my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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