I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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