Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
