is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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