and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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