Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
