But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Welp...herpes.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
