living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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