well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
