Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Little spoons don't ask big questions
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize