This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
