Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
