I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
